#032 Feeling fragmented? It might be your brain
Why tapping into different parts of our brain is good for our wellbeing
This weekend we ticked over into Autumn and it feels like time has flown since the start of the year. I find myself wondering where the first months disappeared to, but also looking ahead and wondering how my next free weekend at home isn’t til Easter…
I am trapped in the DOING of life already. Sigh. I wanted to avoid this. I had wanted this year to be spacious, full of pockets of time devoted to sitting in the garden while drinking coffee and staring at the trees. Just being.
But I am not sure why I thought things would be different this year when I haven’t actively made an effort to carve out ‘being space’.
So what’s so wrong with doing mode? Aren’t we all supposed to be striving to do more?
Well, society would tell you that, wouldn’t it? We get trapped in this fallacy of arrival idea – when I do x, then I will feel y. When I get promoted, then I will be happy. But what happens? Then you feel the need to keep climbing the ladder – there isn’t necessarily an end point. More money, more awards, more rewards, more recognition, more ego. So we get sucked into this spiral of doing more and more – which is fine (I guess) if that is genuinely what you want to do. But a lot of the time, it is our ego making us want the status and external validation that comes with it – which means ultimately, we can never really be satisfied.
I have been interested in the neuroscience of why we get stuck in doing mode and it turns out there is a lot of research out there! An easily digestible source is the fantastic book by psychologist Dr Rick Hanson “Neurodharma”, where he writes about the being and doing parts of our brains.
Here are the basics.
Our midline cortical networks, the network that is towards the front of our brain, is involved in solving problems, performing tasks and making plans. Our default mode, which is towards the rear and spreads to both sides is involved in ruminating, daydreaming and wandering attention. Both of these networks are involved in mental time travel and our strong sense of self. We draw on our midline cortical networks for ‘affective forecasting’, relating to moods, feelings and attitudes.
Our lateral cortical networks are called on when we shift into experiencing, when we are in the present moment. We aren’t judging or evaluating, we are just being.
So that brings us to our being and doing selves. It turns out different networks in the brain are responsible! Our medial networks are for doing, while our lateral networks are for being.
Usually, we can immediately recognise which state our minds might bunch around! Think back on the last 24 hours. Where you more in your medial or lateral network? Were you doing or being?
And of course, we need to spend time being AND doing. But more often than not, there is no semblance of any balance between the two.
Dr Rick Hanson has a great table in his book that highlights the difference between our being and doing states (reproduced below).
Now what is SUPER fascinating is that the medial and lateral networks affect each other through reciprocal inhibition. Which is just a science-y way of saying as one gets busy, it suppresses the other one.
This makes intuitive sense, right?
It is the same in life. If you get super busy at work, you supress a lot of other things – physical activity, catching up with friends, even sleep. Or when you are a new parent, you supress work, being able to drink hot beverages (because inevitably as soon as you make it the baby wakes up), and sometimes parts of your short-term memory!
The overtraining of the medial network creates a dominance in which the experience of being is overtaken quickly overtaken by forms of doing.
Think about how this might happen in your own life.
You might sit down for a quiet moment to enjoy a cup of tea, but then suddenly you jump up and start cleaning the kitchen. Or you go for a walk outside, but then start scrolling on your phone. Or you play Lego with your kids but then you really want to check work emails. There are a million examples I can think of where I am pulled from a being mind into a doing mind. And a lot of the time it takes a minute or two (or longer) for me to realise it.
So this month, if you are keen to get your mind off that eternal medial network hamster wheel, I encourage you to spend more time in your lateral networks.
How?
Here are a few experiments you might want to try to come into your being mind:
If you feel yourself in hardcore doing mode, you could move more towards a being mind through focusing on your senses. Perhaps focus on the sensation of taste, touch, sight, sound or smell. Eating a piece of toast? Really notice the crunching sensation and the sound it makes. Washing your hands? Take time to notice the sensation of the water, the sight of the soap bubbles and the sound of the water. This type of focus can naturally help to quiet medial brain chatter.
Embrace the not knowing mind. This one is usually pretty tough. ‘But I like to know all of the things’, I hear you say! When we embrace a not knowing mind, it helps us to disengage from the part of our mind that is conceptualising, categorising, and evaluating.
Simply try to spend a few minutes letting your mind be. Maybe gaze out the window a little more often. Or try a guided meditation practice. Start small if you are a newbie. The Insight Timer app has some great 10 minute sessions.
So this month, I am going to practice calling on my lateral network more. Like mediation or marathons, I don’t expect it will be easy. There is a lot of conditioning that my brain has had in its 43 years!
The conditioning to be rewarded with a dopamine hit for doing, for achieving.
Society doesn’t reward us for just being. But I think that should change. Resting more in being is great for your physical and mental health and for your overall wellbeing.
“Let go of the past, let go of the future, let go of the present and leave your mind alone.”
Dr Rick Hanson
Let me know if you are planning on experimenting with being this month so we can all celebrate each other.
Be well,
Alicia